February 14 is upon us, and there are sure to be flower deliveries and plush baby animals aplenty. But what if your Valentine’s Day isn’t filled with twinkling eyes and romantic gestures? What if you’re—gasp—single? You can only watch Celebrity Flirt Roulette so many times, after all.
Luckily the digital world offers plenty of cathartic outlets to express your solo style. Here are the best ways to communicate your singlehood this Valentine’s Day.
Instagram: Anyone who participates in social media knows all about faux-vintage pictures captured with the latest iPhone. What better way to let the digital world know your both your take on Valentine’s Day and your photography talents than a sepia-tinged shot of your solitude via Instagram? Best bets are the Toaster or Earlybird filters, and suggested photo subjects include: an empty chair across a table with a near-empty bottle of wine (no glasses); pet cat, dog, or fish with bouquet of flowers and adorbz-worthy caption; or the DVD cover of the movie Closer if you want to get really Debbie/Donnie Downer about it. Extra meta points for simply posting a picture of yourself trolling Facebook on Valentine’s Day around 9 p.m. Speaking of which…
Facebook: No other site lets you so quickly appreciate/judge your single and coupled friends alike in one scroll of the page. There are sure to be plenty of questionable posts about what wonderful significant others and spouses everyone has, ambiguous jeers at unnamed exes, infants decorated in Hallmark accoutrement, self-indulgent “maybe next year” status updates, and probably an engagement or two. Pay tribute to the Someecards goldmine by switching to “in a relationship” with a single friend, then fill your friends’ news feeds by exchanging the cheesiest digital sweet nothings you can conjure.
SpeedDate (free iPhone app with upgrades available for purchase): Traditional online dating is an option of course, but why risk the perils and pressure of a first date on Valentine’s Day? An iPhone app that offers “Real Dates in Real-Time,” SpeedDate gets excellent customer ratings and does not require changing out of sweatpants. Browse users’ photo albums, narrow it down by age, and send “winks” or “flirts,” though to actually connect with users you’ll need to pony up $25 or so for an upgrade. Cheesy? Maybe, but the SpeedDate community will likely be packed for Valentine’s Day, so it’s probably the best time to give it a shot.
Twitter: Whether you follow what’s trending or make up your own singles’ hashtag, Twitter will no doubt be abuzz with Cupid-related tweets. To bring some added value rather than just added noise, get a group of friends together and live-tweet a singles night, whether it be out or in. Online documentation and commentary of your friends mingling at the bar has potential, but a live single’s take on The Notebook or various Mario Party mini-games as metaphors for life (everyone feels like Luigi now and then) could be just as entertaining material for the Twitterverse.